Old Memories

How this old memories affect your life? Does it hurt or may it kill you when think about it? Is that all this memories has become so much painful in your family or become one of the best lesson in your life?

I have been through so much pain and see the pain upon my eyes. Feeling lost, giving up on everything and feel hopeless. Maybe God wants us to go back to Him. When people around you stop to care about you, God still care and He send someone or something that can make us feel better.

People around me keep dying and go away. I couldn't ask them to stay for me. I can't force them because it is wrong. I love them, care for them and all I want is the happiness for them. I thought it was okay to let go until the day become night. I sobbing myself on my pillow crying and blaming for what have happen in my life.

Old memories that sometimes the darkest memories become pain that I couldn't forgive myself. The disappointing that I see from people I love. It hurt me than people who feel angry with me. Running away, keep the feeling to yourself is not the way that keep it better. All you need is to let go. Tell someone how does you feel or how hurt you are. Stop being strong for once. That's okay you know to be weak. We only humans and human always need help.

I remember how painful I was that day. I want to cry out loud but I couldn't and that makes it worse. So, I look out the window, talking to God from my heart, "Allah, please take away this pain. I couldn't take it anymore". Suddenly, slowly... it goes away and become so peace. I smile that He listen. Deep down, I feel grateful. My life is not fancy like others. But yes, for every each I get I feel thankful. Because you know life just once. You can't live again when you die. So live...

 Old memories... some of it may cause so much pain. From that pain people could change to worse or better. We never know how does it affect them. People lose their faith. For us who are strong enough, should listen and help them to have faith in this life. Make them believe that they are not alone. No one perfect. No one.

To my family,
Thank you taught me to be a better sister and daughter. You are my strength to be alive.

To my friends,
I don't ask anything but a thank you. Some of you may leave me alone or find a new friend and forget me. That's okay. It's your life. So live. You teach me to be independent. But for those who stay, so much love and thank you for you guys. You never know how grateful I am to have you.

To the one who break me,
That's okay. I forgive you. I forgive you because I want to make peace to myself. Just live your life. Just remember not to do it again to other person you meet. Appreciate them. You guys are the best lesson I have. Maybe we may not be close like before but may time heal everything.

Old memories is not bad at all. All you need is time to heal. Old memories is the lesson to make us to a better person. Feel grateful for whatever you have. Love your family. Appreciate you friends. Embrace the enemy. Let go the negative. Forgive even it is not yours. Live....


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