Not Everything

Dear strangers,

It's 4.00 a.m in the morning and I still can sleep. I was thinking about everything. Tak semua dalam hidup kita boleh kita cerita dan tak semua rasa hati kita boleh luahkan, right?

I wish I could tell them how hurt it is. I wish I can be mad at them when I know what they do and talk about me. I wish and wish but it will never happen. People may say:

"Think before you speak"

I think and what do I feel sometimes doesn't matter even though I want to kill them. Aha, I'm joking. I wouldn't do that. Who am I? A serial killer or something?Your wish, your wish. Urmm, I am really hurt to think about it. How can 4 vs 1 can win huh? They still a kids to be argue. There is a lot to talk about them. What have they say about me. But yeah, I keep it. I don't want talk about it. I try to ignore about it. Doesn't even matter what they say. Let it be.

urrggghh!!!!

How many times I say "it's okay", I know it never be okay. They just be acting while there is no respect for me. I can see it. I don't want to fight. I really am. I hate this feeling. If he was here maybe he will be mad and say "Ignore them sister! or you want me to teach them huh?" Sometimes it is funny to think about it. He is my brother and best friend. He know me. How much I try to hide my problem, he will find out. The best thing is he the only one can make me cry while I am trying to be strong. I don't know what kind of magic he been used. Trying to be Dean Winchester in supernatural.

Yeah.. back to my topic. Saying a words without thinking will ruin your life. Doing something without thinking will make you lose something value in your life. I know sometimes it doesn't fair to ignore about what do we feel and give in to someone. At least, there is something you learn from it. What? P.A.T.I.E.N.C.E. However, it was a lie if I'm not getting upset and sad about it. Let it be, let them feel they're right. It's okay. Not fight, no worries.

All I hope everything is fine. We're okay and there is no back stabbing. I hope this kids will grow older and guide each other. Maybe I will be just me like always and watching them. I don't want anything more than seeing everyone around me is happy.

P.S
Ignore, Patience, Keep smile, Keep positive.

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